back | next
back to archives | bluepoof.com
email me

 

October 7, 2002


on the telly.
I'm writing this as more or less a break tonight, about ten minutes into watching one of the best road racing videos I've seen -- the best, if you don't count live races. It's V-Four Victory, featuring Joey Dunlop on the Isle of Man TT. Gorgeous British scenery, awesome 1980's racebikes, and famous names in racing -- what more could you ask for? Except, perhaps, a translator or subtitles?

For, you see, the reason for needing the break is simple: my brain needs to cool off. It's been attempting to squeeze a reasonable conversation out of the surreal noises it understands as Joey's Irish accent. It's a bit like someone took a normal interview and dubbed in a Monty Python soundtrack.

Narrator and Joey Dunlop are standing in a garage next to a bike.
Narrator: Well, Joey, you're undoubtedly the king of the TT, but seem to have trouble on the shorter circuits. What's your take?
Joey: Wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat! Knowwhatimean knowwhatimean?
Narrator: Ah. So you attribute your success in the longer circuits to the ability to get to know the circuit that much better, say?
Joey: My hovercraft is full of eels!
Narrator:Yes, that does seem to be a good strategy for the Ulster GP, you're absolutely right.

It's a bit disconcerting. Now back to the movie.

... Thirty-nine minutes into the film. I just now realized that "on th' bake" isn't some strange Irish euphemism; he's actually saying "on the bike".

... Forty-five minutes. I had to pause again, to let my brain rest from the double whammy of the on-board camera going approximately the speed of light around the Isle of Man TT plus Joey's dubbed-in commentating. When the on-board camera bit starts, I thought, "hrm, this isn't so amazing. Sure, he's quick, but it's nothing really outstanding" and I began idly contemplating fast-forwarding a little.

A few minutes later, I started to get a wee headache from everything being a big blurry fuzz, and I reached down to un-fast-forward....and realized I'd never hit the button. I concede. It's fast. It's damn fast. Yikes.

And interspersed with rushing scenery is Joey's calm Irish blather, occasionally coming through clear enough to offer bits of advice like, "oh yah, witch out for that wail there, sometimes yer hel-i-met hits when yer goin' roun'" while a sideways brick wall zips past the camera at about 180mph. My personal favorite has been when a bug hit the camera lens. "Ha ha," the narrator laughed nervously, "that was a juicy one!" "Oh yah", Joey mumbles cheerfully, "but it's bitter tin th' bairds when tay 'it you!" Yes, I imagine so.